Pure Desperation:Levis love and Erens savior
by creoleereri
Summary: Sequel to PD. Levi is a sick broken man who wants Eren forever so he kidnaps him. But don't worry Eren is his saint :)...Eren is a lost boy with nothing to live for until one man who he hates becomes his everything. Both looking for the one thing in life that was snatched from them. It's a drug that no amount of fix or rehab can satisfy the hunger. They live in Pure Desperation
1. Levis Pov

Cleaning.

It's one of my most favorite things to do, it's quiet, peaceful, keeps me calm and I get to kill something while I'm at it and not worry about getting caught. Yes it is a very nice activity to do while waiting, also it's very productive and gets rid of everything.

I'm standing over one of my end tables, its a small, thin but sturdy little wooden table, hand carved, that rest to the right of my red suede couch, another one identical to it that hosts a lamp and a picture frame that's facing down. The couch faces a little stone fire place that is currently not on, pictures rest on the little ledge of the fireplace that are also facing down, a Persian rug rests before it at a reasonable distance so as not to catch fire, two doors rest beside the fireplace, one closed and the other opened with the lights on. A black bookshelf rested to the right of the couch with another door next to it that leads to the outside, a dark brown china cabinet that appears to be one of the oldest things in the house sits directly opposite of the bookshelf, both standing out against the bare wooden walls that too once held pictures, evident from nails sticking from out of the walls with no purpose. The kitchen, at the far back, it's white with splashes of black and steel, but not before a giant, circular glass table with four chairs and a small glass chandelier hanging directly above it. Yeah it's a nice little cabin, that I've spent three hours cleaning twice and on both accounts, this little fucking goddamn table has been a pain in the ass. What used to be here was an ashtray, I haven't been in this cabin for close to a year and what ever ash and dirt that seemed to fester and stick to this table was being a huge asshole and not fucking coming off, I might have to take up smoking again.

Swiping over dirt and grime, riding it of it's pathetic existence from this shithole of a planet, making sure even the tiniest amoeba isn't left squirming anywhere, even if I can't see it, I know it's there, begging for mercy and it's making my skin crawl. I can't stand it, I must end it, there is no choice it has to die, it must go, perish or I won't be able to sleep soundly at night. I crack my knuckles one by one without even touching them as my desire to delete something intensifies "Ah... If only I had some acid" I let out a very deep breath as my hands begin to move over the spot, trembling, fingers itching, ready to tear away at the mahogany wood just to erase this small little spot that plagues my perfection "I must rip, must destroy" my finger slowly creep closer to it, aching, the corners of my mouth begin to twitch into an awkward smile, my eyes search more franticly, my breath quickens and all I see now is red "D.E.L.E.T.E". The minute I place the tips of my fingers over the spot and begin to dig my nails deep into the wood, ready to sheer it on it's flesh and small sound comes from the room behind me that instantly snaps me out of my episode "Oh! He's awake."

I may be sounding like quite the germaphobe and a bit of a perfectionist, but trust me, in my previous line of work, it paid to make sure everything was perfect, spotless.

I turn around, wiping my hands on the skirt of my apron and swiftly make my way to the room, I excitedly open the door only to find that my dearest is still sleeping, only stirring just a bit, which is a lovely sign to me that he will wake soon. Soon. Soon I'll be able to hear his voice, the way it hitches when he's shy and darkens when he angry. Soon I'll be able to feel his body, trace over his gorgeous tan skin and engrave the twitch of his muscles as he flexes from my touch. Soon I'll be able to glance into those swirl pools of emerald green jewels that were blessed to be his eyes, staring intently into mine, dragging my soul within. Soon, oh very soon my most beautiful treasure, I shall absorb your very being into myself when we merge and finally become one. Soon you'll feel my love "Eren".

Before I noticed it, my body was trembling, I was over Eren, my face dangerously close to his, our lips almost touching, my hand an inch above his heart, I had almost woken him. I could feel his breath against my cheek, sending shivers down my spine, I slowly move my hand from above his heart to gently touch his face, my blood stopped and all my thoughts went blank as he let out a very sensual "Ah". I was two seconds away from ravishing him, wondering what other pitches his voice can make until I had ripped my hand away from his face and backed up to the door, tripping on my own foot, I caught myself before I hit the ground and held my breath. There was no sound from Eren, not even a stir.

I lifted myself up carefully and prompt myself against the door frame, everything was shaking, my body, my breath, hell even the room was. I wrapped my arms around my trembling body, rubbing my hands up and down, trying to calm my self, I can't believe it, just a bit of air and a tiny sound can turn a 24 year old man into a bubbling teenage girl, I laugh at my own thought, oh how much I have fallen? Only my Eren Jaeger can do this to me. After a moment of getting over my sudden high, I shook my head, I can't wake him up, he needs his rest for today is a very big day, it's the day we finally get to be together in our new home!

I hope he likes it, I mean I know it's no mansion but the cabin is nice, a great place for us to spend the rest of our lives together, we'll grow old and die here, in our cozy little love nest way up in the mountains. And what a location too, the mountains, its nice and quite, the wildlife is peaceful, and it's so out of the way that no one will ever find us. Absolutely no service, and the only road is at the base, but we're all the way at the top so only way to see us is if a plane flies over head, and if that wasn't enough I called in a few favors, covered our tracks and tied up loose ends, so the only one that knows that we're here is me. However the only other people remotely close to use is that small town thirty miles west of us that could pose to be troublesome, but I doubt that they will be too big of a problem, have to get food from somewhere, though we are well stocked so that I'll hardly ever need to leave and can spend more time with Eren.

Eren won't need to go anywhere or do anything, he will no longer need to worry about the outside world, things like family and friends, he'll never need those anymore, I'm all that he'll ever need, he can just stay tied to the bed and not move a muscle. I gaze at the rope I used to tie his hands on the bed "Hm, I wonder if I tied them too tight, wouldn't want to stop his blood flow and then we end up losing his hands... that's ok I'd still love Eren, handless and all. But what if he likes it tight? I'll ask him when he wakes up." I'm getting so excited about all this, I can remember the day I first saw him so vividly.

it was the day I ran away from home, I was sixteen at the time and had nowhere to go, so to get all my thoughts together I went to this park that was always a few blocks away from my house but I never went there, I thought a place that held no memory of me would be a good place for me to start. It's not like I was a problem child in fact I was far from it, I was a model student young, handsome, smart and athletic, not counting my height, sexuality and drug abuse I was the perfect child. And I hated it, everything about me I hated it because it wasn't me, it was what my parents wanted me to be and it was suffocating, the only thing that could relieve me was drugs, I was sick of everything so I left.

I found a bench that was placed in front of some swings, four to be exact, two in each section, I could never get that, knowing how much kids like swings why would you only have four in a park, that's highly irritating. What, so that you can practice your "sharing is caring" or "wait your turn" rule on them while they're young and won't notice it? Yeah fuck that noise. I was beginning to get agitated for no reason and was in dire need of a cigarette, my leg kept bobbing up and down and I was getting restless I decided to get up and leave deciding that I was getting nothing done other than upsetting myself even more. That was until some kids were running by me, the first was a girl with long black hair and a red scarf, followed by a blonde haired blue eyed kid with suspenders they couldn't look no more then ten.

"Come on, hurry up! It was your idea!" she yelled

"Yeah you lost so you have to carry the bags" the blondie hollered as he was panting heavily

Then someone was running behind them, tired of them already I turned my head to ignore them, but if I had turned it a little more I would have missed it. The boy with the green eyes, I was so blown away by the shade and texture of his eyes that I quickly turned my head to face him again only for a small glance as he ran by me, trudging along with three heavy bookbags, one on his back with the other two in his hands. I could tell that they weren't from around here by their clothes, this was the rich part of town, and they looked worn and hand down, and it had better be that because I would never be able to miss or forget anybody with eyes like that.

"Shut up Mikasa and Armin, I'm coming!" he said finally catching up with them, he threw the bags down and sprinted for the swings. He ran past them only to quickly turn around to run back, hop on the swing while grabbing the chain and thrusting himself up with his eyes still open, eyes filled with fire and determination, eyes that were free and pure, so marvelous, beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, words could not describe this moment, this feeling that I was feeling, I was breathless. What was his name, I must know his name. I've only known the name of the other two because they came out of his mouth and I never wanted to forget a thing he ever said, I must know his name. And then I finally got my wish.

"Eren Jaeger! You come down right now! Mom's going to be mad if you fall and get hurt!" Mikasa yelled

"Oh shut up Mikasa I'm fine!" Eren hissed back

I hadn't notice that he was hanging from the pole, dangling there, his bellybutton exposed from his shirt rising with his arms... Eren, Eren Jaeger. I shall never forget that name for as long as I live.

And then there was a sound coming from the bed that snapped me out of my memory, it was Eren, he had finally woken up, those lovely green eyes flutter awake as they scan his surroundings. "What the hell?!" he tugs his arms

"There's no need to worry, I'm glad that you're awake" I said stepping closer to the bed

"Who are you?!" he growled

"Levi"

"Where the hell am I?!"

"Home"


	2. Erens Pov

A young man with messy brown hair and big green eyes was deep in thought, brows furrowing and face scrunching. Laying down on his bed, in his permanent home, with his lover...well kidnapper, the one he fell in love with. Some people may think that's insane but he could really no longer give a fuck, as he goes on remembering about his past.

A ten year old boy with big innocent green eyes, brown messy hair, and a big grin was running home, it was him, Eren, along with his two best friends Mikasa, a girl with long black hair and a red scarf that she wore all year round, and Armin, a blue-eyed blondie with brains the size of Mt. Rushmore and an imagination to match. Actually they were his only friends, Eren was not popular at school because he tattled on a kid named Jean who was bullying Armin. Eren had always been taught by his mom to let the adults know if someone was in trouble, and Eren did just what his mother would have wanted him to do.

His downfall was Jean, the most popular kid in school, who had and turned everyone against Eren, he was bullied everyday, but he took the bullying as long as it meant Armin was safe, he didn't care that he was an outcast. He had Armin, Mikasa, his dad, but most importantly his mom, to him she was the most beautiful person in the world, she was also the sweetest. Did he forget perfect? She gave the best hugs, could sow perfectly, and was the best cook ever and she always had treats waiting for him and his friends when they arrived home from school.

Today was no different. Eren having lost a bet had to carry both Armin's and Mikasa backpacks along with his, they were running through the park and decided to play on the swings and monkey bars before going all the way home. Dropping the bags and running to the swings Eren was nothing but laughter and innocence, playing to his heart's content and not caring what anybody had to say, he was free.

The sun was starting to set and they Decided that they were ready to go home, as they left the park Eren almost ran into an older man who was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, he apologized to the man who only looked at him and said nothing. Eren thought the man was weird and stared back, the man looked funny and by the look of his face he could tell that the man was not that much older than him and his gaze felt like it could melt iron, yep he was definitely funny. It wasn't until Eren heard his friends yelling that he snapped out of it, apologizing one more time, and ran off. The man was quickly forgotten as he arrived home to the smell of something suspiciously similar to cookies fresh out of the oven, and he walked into to his modest two bedroom single story home.

Between the two parents his dad was the only one that worked, he was a nurse and made enough money which allowed them to live comfortably. They didn't have much, of course, but the love that was present in the house made them wealthy. To Eren his mom was the big light that shined throughout the whole house, she had the living room and kitchen filled with flowers, pictures and cute trinkets that's she made in her spare time. Everything matched in an eccentric way from the plush couch to the circular wooden table in the kitchen. The kitchen and living room were connected separated only by the couch, there was a small stove and a medium sized fridge, and the living room had a medium sized TV that only had 60 channels. Yeah it really wasn't much but he house was always warm and inviting. None of this mattered to the boy who was happy as long as he had his mother.

Running to engulf his mom in a hug, Eren was all smiles as his mom ruffled his hair and hugged him tighter, she gave the kids cookies and listen to them excitedly talk about their day. Two hours later Armin and Mikasa were picked up by their parents and Eren was setting the table up for dinner, it was going to be another dinner of just him and his mom, because his father wouldn't get off of work till late. So dinner was always the same Eren talking excitedly and Carla laughing at her son's antics, however tonight was different because Grisha was let off of work early. As he was closing the door Eren tackled him  
"Dad!" the boy yelled and his cry was met with a warm shuffle of the hair.

Eren was very close with his dad, Grisha would put him on his shoulders and run through the house, when he was off they would play catch and double team on his mom for extra brownies, but even still none could compare to his mom. His mom was the sun and his dad was the moon, it was cheesy yeah but that's how he truly felt. Eren was happy that night and thought that his life couldn't get any better.

The next day was a Saturday and he was supposed to go to the park with his mom. He woke up all smiles and bounded to the kitchen where his mom usually was on Saturday mornings. He only found his dad sitting at the table drinking coffee.  
"Where's mom?" asked Eren.

His dad replied "She wanted to get some more breakfast items to cook you a big breakfast before ya'll went to the park." Eren just nodded and went back to his room to get ready for the day.

However, hours passed, his mom never came back and he tried not to think about the nagging feeling in his stomach, but then more hours pass by and Eren was beginning to freak out, at this point his dad was calling everyone he knew to look for his wife and by nighttime he was calling the police. Eren cried that night because he was scared for his mom, he didn't know why she didn't come home and where could she have gone to and in the mist of all his worries he drifted off to a restless sleep.  
Three days passed by in a blur with no word from his mom, and every night since Eren would cry himself to sleep each night his mom did not return home. After a week he woke up and forgetting momentarily that his mom was missing and ran into the living room only to find two officers talking to his dad. He stayed by the part of the staircase where the wall combined with the handrail as he listen in on the conversation, no one notice him or the face that he was making as he heard words he wished would never be spoken.

"Sir I am sorry to report that the woman you called in about yesterday was found stabbed multiple times in an alley this morning. She was pronounced dead on the scene with only her wallet on her. She was robbed and most likely assaulted by the looks of her clothing. We are doing everything we can to find her killer sir. I am very sorry for your loss." said one of the officers.  
All Eren could process was that his mom was dead, he let out a scream alerting everyone in the room that he heard everything, he didn't want to believe his mom was dead, she couldn't be, she wasn't allowed to be, she was his everything there is no way someone could kill her. Eren didn't feel his dad trying to calm him down nor did he hear the officers leave the two to mourn, he was in a state of shock that lasted throughout the rest of the day. The next week was a blur of him crying and people coming over to bring them food, he barely remembered the funeral only Mikasa and Armin sitting next to him crying.

The death of his mom changed his life.

Eren's life went into a downwards spiral that had no hope of returning to normal, the only good that came from his life were the deaths of his mom's murderers. Eren had to question his morals many times because the guilty men turned up stabbed many times, hands and private areas burned and finger tips cut off, and eyes gauged out. They were left in the same place they killed his mom, Eren only knows this because the police arrived at their house asking questions, apparently a note saying R.I.P Carla Jaeger was left on the men and their DNA matched the ones on her body. Fortunately, Grisha had a solid alibi and no one really bothered with Eren so they were presumed innocent, he secretly rejoiced at the gruesome deaths, but even knowing they were dead it didn't help because the damage was done.

Grisha Jaeger was crazy about Carla, having been his high school sweetheart and dreamed of a future where they would grow old together, but her sudden death took a heavy toll on his heart, so he turned to drinking to forget his pain. Grisha began to drink every day after the funeral, for the first three years he managed work and drinking but soon it was too much. He slowly drifted into alcoholism and was soon fired after showing up to work drunk on several occasions. He found a small median wage job that required nothing of him and gave him a lot of time to drink, during this time he drifted away from Eren and the two never spoke to each other anymore.

And for Eren life became hell, after his one and only light was snuffed out from under him, he was still an outcast and it didn't let up, in fact it only got worse. Armin and Mikasa did everything they could to support their friend but they stopped coming to the house because of the constant mess it was always in. Where the house had once been warm it turned into a pig sty, there was trash and bottles all over the place. If Eren didn't get groceries or cook they wouldn't eat and he never stopped crying himself to sleep each night. His life use to be so warm and now it was just cold and empty.

When he turned 15 he was welcomed with the lovely gift of a punch to the face from his dad and the words "Get a damn job, I aint spoiling you anymore." sadly this wasn't the first time Grisha laid a hand him, it was just the first time he punched him in the face. His dad became physical when Eren was 14, he didn't understand why his father, who use to put him on his shoulders and run around the house, hold him close and told him that he loved him, was now beating him. Eren thought if anyone still loved him it was his dad, but now, Eren had began to fall into a new hopelessness that led him into a deep depression. However he wanted to try and do something right, so he looked everywhere to find someone who would hire him. He finally found luck at a burger king not too far from his house, when Eren bought home his first check his dad hugged him.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to do better... I just miss your mom so much." Eren accepted this and hoped things would change.  
They didn't change at all and he took beatings from school and home, like it was as if everyone was out to get him. Eren would sometimes dream of someone saving him from this hell that was his life. He wanted to go far away and never come back, he hated life.

Eren worked at that burger king for about two years, and within the span of those two years Eren's dad moved several jobs that he always had trouble keeping down, which only caused his drinking to increase. Eren began trying to take on more financial duties causing the horrific downfall of his already struggling grades, but at least he didn't have to get beat twice as much anymore because he wasn't at school long enough to get beat. Armin and Mikasa began to date and had all but pushed Eren out of the picture, he was sometimes invited to hang out but it was never fun because he was always a third wheel. Long gone were the days of enjoying cookies and sharing awesome stories of who had the best toy during recess.

However Eren had found one upside in his pathetic life, he turned to weed that was given to him by a coworker and he fell in love. Eren smoked whenever he could get his hands on some weed, it relaxed him in a way that nothing else could. The high literally had him floating through the days, he forgot the times he was in because of his constant highs, and only stayed sober for work.

But nothing good comes out of his life anymore, when he turned 17 he lost his job at Burger King due to a failed random drug test, and all that did was fuck him up even more, he had to go home and tell his dad he fucked up. Yet sadly His dad had been spending more and more time away from home lately, the beatings stopped but only because Grisha spent his drunken moments elsewhere. However he was still terrified of his dad's reaction to being fired, so he timidly stepped inside the filthy house only to find his dad up and alert diving into a fresh bottle of whiskey.

Eren took and breathe and said "Dad we need to talk."

His father barely acknowledged him so Eren kept on "Um dad I was fired from my job but I know I could get another one soon if-"he never finished because he was cut off when his dad went ballistic. He punched Eren in the face many times and shoved him into the walls.

"You good for nothing fucker! How are we supposed to eat now huh?" he yelled, punching him two more times before Eren fell to the ground. And when he was done he just picked up his bottle and stormed out.

Eren cried himself to sleep right on the floor and when he woke up the next morning his dad had not returned, so he decided it would be the best time to look for a job immediately. He searched all over but found nothing, for a week Eren looked for a job, he was so busy searching that he barely reflected on the fact that his dad never came back home. One week later Eren was in luck, he found a job at a gaming store and by the looks of the staff nobody gave a fuck about his smoking. Eren ran home to tell his dad and hopefully get back in his good graces, after all it was the first beating in about a year and his dad was all he had left. Eren arrived at home to sadly find that his dad's stuff was gone, there was no trace that he ever lived there.

Eren sat in the middle of the living room wailing, he had nobody and nothing now, his life was doomed to be nothing but a failure. He lost his mom, the sun of his life, he lost his friends and now his dad, he truly was alone. Eren fell into despair worse than when he found out his mom was murdered, it stung worse than his dad's fiercest beatings, this despair was the acceptance of an abandoned and useless life. Eren did nothing but smoke, go to work, attempt school, and cry, he barely ate. This lifestyle followed him into his 18th year, his birthday present was a notice on the door stating if the bills kept being delayed or missed he would be evicted, it was obvious he couldn't keep up with the bills anymore.

He settled for being high as much as he could, in order to forget it all.

He was walking home and was too high to notice someone directly in front of him and walked right into someone, more like crashed into them.

"Oi watch where the fuck you're going."

Eren looked down to see a pale man with the most enticing cold grey eyes staring up at him, he could barely blink and mouth an apology before the man was gone, he thought he had seen a ghost and just floated home. However, when he saw him again Eren had to do a double take, the man was on a bench staring him. Eren blushed and checked to make sure it was him he was staring at, and Once again the man just vanished. Eren knew now his weed was playing tricks on him, so he walked back into his empty home.  
He couldn't afford the electricity bill so the lights were off and he didn't bother going to his dark and cold room, he just lay on the couch and did the usual cry to sleep. Eren dreamed again about being taken away from this wretched life, but he would wake up in a cold sweat and upset about waking up again, all he wanted to do was just sleep forever and never get up.

One night he was walking home and for once wasn't high, only because he couldn't afford it today. Unfortunately he was confronted by two thugs on his sober walk home, a heavy set one and a tall, skinny dude.

The bigger one says "Give me everything you have and don't be cute."

Now Eren could have complied but if he gave up his money he would starve for a week and he was barely struggling to keep afloat as is. So instead of listening, like a smart person would, he went for the "cute" option of punching the guy in the face and trying to run, but before he could get away Eren was punched hard in the face by the second thug. Then the first took his revenge by punching Eren twice, as hard as he could in the face and stomach. He was going for a kick when suddenly he yelled out a bloodcurdling scream. Eren and the other attacker stood in shock and horror as the guy was stabbed brutally in the back and as he was falling the knife dug into his neck. The assailant was none other than the man Eren had seen in the past days. He was real! And not just real, he was brutally working on the second attacker. Eren stumbled trying to gain control of his legs, but when he was finally set he ran home as fast he could. Running into the house, he slammed the door behind him and held his body there as if trying to keep something from coming in but before he could think straight he ran to the bathroom and puked everything he had into the toilet.

Eren smoked everything he could in the next few days to forget the horrific scene. He sacrificed food and even some other necessities to acquire the high. Eventually he numbed the experience thanks to the weed and years of trying to numb bad experiences. As a month passed by Eren received a letter on the door saying he would be evicted in a week, at this point he was contemplating suicide. There was nothing he had to live for and he didn't care to be on earth, his life was nothing and he refused to continue this pathetic existence. He planned it for the day of his eviction, everything would be in order and he could just disappear. Things seemed to have worked themselves out because Mikasa and Armin invited Eren to catch a movie and dinner with them. They only caught him because this was Eren's last week at school, he knew this would be the last time he'd see his friends.  
He had a nagging feeling in his stomach but he ignored it and tried to just focus on his friends for one last time.

Waving goodbye to his unsuspecting friends, Eren stepped into the usually dark home, but tonight he came in to a lit living room. In utter confusion Eren looked to see his dad standing in the middle of the living. Eren had an ounce of hope for his life, maybe his dad paid all the bills and came home so that they could be a family again, maybe he wouldn't have to die because his dad did love him, even if he was upset that his dad left him alone to struggle he could forgive him. However this dream was immediately killed when Eren took in his dads face and stance, he was drunk and was glaring at Eren. Stalking him like a lion to its prey  
He landed the first blow to Eren's face "You piece of shit you couldn't even keep the house up!" and he then continued with more slaps and punches.

"It's your fault she died. She spoiled you and wanted to cook you a big breakfast. She would have been home that day. I have hated you since she left. Why couldn't it have been you? Why are you such a fuck up? Answer me you worthless piece of shit!" He yelled  
Eren couldn't respond due to the extreme pain he was in, his father resorted to kicking the crumbling boy and landed one harsh kick that knocked Eren's breath away. He felt blood, despair, hopelessness, and one new feeling. He felt the darkness pulling him in, he accepted the darkness and it numbed the pain of his dad's blows. This was the last blow to Eren's mind, even if he lived through this he would take his own life immediately, he didn't deserve to live if his own father hated him.

Neither Eren nor his dad heard the back door being bust open, neither saw the approaching angered figure. Eren soon felt the kicks stop, he was so close to the darkness he was at peace. However, before he could reach complete darkness he saw something that straight out of a horror film, he saw something that no one should ever see in their life. Before he could black out he saw his dad getting stabbed, throat slit, and then in one more sickening motion his neck was snapped. The man who brutally attacked his attempted muggers had just murdered his dad. Eren saw the familiar face running to him covered in blood. He heard the man say "Eren I won't let anything else happen to you my saint. You're mine and I'll take care of you."

Eren heard a scream (not knowing it was his own) and finally succumbed to the darkness.  
Days later when Eren finally woke up to find himself tied to a bed in a room unfamiliar to him

"What the hell?!"

"There's no need to worry, I'm glad that you're awake" a man said stepping closer to the bed. It was the man that had been staring at him, killed his attackers and his dad…and the rest of the night hit him in a horrified flash.

"Who are you?!" he growled

"Levi"

"Where the hell am I?!"

"Home"


	3. Erens Pov-Pure Resistance

When Eren had been there three months he was in the process of fighting Levi every step of the way. He thought Levi was an insane murderer. He was in a constant state of anger depression and hopelessness. Most of all he was confused. Every day Levi fed him and cleaned him, changed him, and watching him shit or pee wiping him down. Eren would get overwhelmed, and he would throw up and Levi would just clean it. Eren was upset because he had no privacy and this man NEVER left him alone. It was almost funny he wasn't humiliated being naked in front of another man. He was just annoyed. Wasn't a kidnapper supposed to be all about demands, rape, forcing hard labor, or whatever freaky shit it is that kidnappers are into? Levi was fucking weird on levels Eren didn't understand. The man burst in with all these threats and talk of death and killing people. Yet for the introduction he in a way pampered Eren and it confused the boy.

First of all the man rarely talked. He only talked at night. Eren cried most nights like he had done so many nights alone at home. He wanted to not be there, if it was up to him he would to be alone or dead. He also wanted his weed. He hadn't smoke in so long and it was his only escape. At night Levi would stroke Erens face and whisper utter crazy bullshit like I love you and you're safe here and I'll take care of you my pure and innocent lover. Eren didn't understand what in the fuck Levi was talking about when he said that. He wasn't a saint he was a fucking loser. He was loser whose dad didn't love him. He was a loser who had no friends and could only find emotional attachment to a plant. A loser who got himself kidnapped by an insane murderer who was convinced Eren was his pure one and the one he'd never let go. When Levi spoke the words of love, that would take Eren over the edge and he would cry harder and try to move from Levi. The man freaked him out and confused him. Every night Eren silently prayed to whoever would listen he wouldn't get raped. He knew it was coming because some days Levi would give a ravenous look that reminded him of a shark after smelling blood. Sometimes Levi would try to kiss him and Eren would just cry and Levi would give him this pained look and give up. Eren didn't understand that look but didn't question it. Eren would then cry himself to sleep and would wake up in a fog and realize where he was and cry some more…

In the fourth month Eren finally spoke. He had barely said two words out loud since his "move". Levi had bathed him and was changing him his hand kept brushing against Erens penis and for a second Eren felt jolts and this angered him. He asked "why won't you let me do this myself? Why can't I move? What the fuck is wrong with you?" To all of this Levi just stroked Erens face and said "I have to take care of my saint." To Eren when his mom died so did any affection anyone had for him. For some reason after 8 years he finally decided to voice his anger. He decided to use some of his rage and turned it on Levi.

"FUCK YOU I WANT OUT GET OUT OF HERE. LET ME GO SOMEONE WILL FIND ME!"

"Eren, why would you ever want to leave me? We could be so happy together. I have everything perfect here. I worked so hard so we can be comfortable together. You are safe with me Eren. All you need is me. I'll take care of you!"

Eren thought he was losing it when he saw Levi looking like he was about to cry. Who knew monsters had emotions. The face was bothering Eren and he would give anything to make it stop. It reminded him to much of his mom. She would make that same face when his dad had to work late too many nights. Well he got his wish when Levi stroked Erens face and softly pecked his lips. When he moved his face Eren was speechless. This man had just taken his first kiss! Eren really wanted to be upset but Levis lips were uncharacteristically soft. Levi leaned to kiss Eren again. Eren didn't want this to go any further and he groaned. Unfortunately Levi took this as an invitation to slide his tongue in between Erens lips. Eren was certainly disgusted with his first French kiss being with this man, no this monster. He certainly was fighting back. By no circumstances was he getting into this kiss. By no means was his tongue wrestling on its own will with a monster. He was not enjoying this. He was not enjoying tasting Levi. There was no way he almost groaned at the lost of Levis mouth on his. He would stay in denial forever if he had to.

"I'm stepping away for a bit." Levi said gathering his things about to leave. Eren was confused by Levi's actions

"Why do you even want me?"

Eren didn't know what possessed him to ask that question but it was too late now. After what felt like an eternity Levi said "You are a beautiful masterpiece, you know that. I love the way your eye's shine when something has peeked your interest, I love the way you smile and how your cheeks are dusted with a dashing pink hue. I love your anger, your rage, and the fits that can be shone even in your demeanor. I love your body, tender and pure like a saint but also rugged and toned like an athlete. Ah, I love you Eren, I love you." Levi walked back to the bed, tipped Erens chin up and said "you're special to me saint. I want to keep you keep you safe and untainted."

Eren couldn't believe the bullshit he was hearing. There was no way in hell some monster cared about him. His mom had been the only person who cared about him! Eren accepted his cursed fate and didn't understand why now he was stuck with some insane man. Nobody loves him, nobody cares about him. He could still hear his dads' hateful words in the back of his mind. He was a fuck up, a fool, a loser, and a waste of space. Nobody not even this monster should want him in their presence. He just brings pain wherever he goes. He wasn't good enough for his mom to stay alive, for his dad to not beat the shit out of him, and he couldn't make his dad even stay. He was a failure in school and had no pleasant memories of it. He wasn't worthy of having even two measly friends. The only thing Eren was worth was finishing his painful life and dying without a soul to care.

Eren didn't notice Levi had been staring at him intently till he looked up. He saw another pained expression in his eyes but didn't know why. He suddenly felt warm tears running down his face. He couldn't stop himself from crying. Levi had begun wiping his face, his thumbs lingering on Erens cheek and stroking it gently. Eren felt warmth in Levis hands but he was slipping into a numbing trance. Levis words and that kiss had been too much for Eren. In the 8 years since his mother's death he forgot what a soft touch was. He wanted to deal with this the only way he knew how. When he was at home and things became too much he cried and moved to numbing his feelings. Smoking weed all the time had helped to accelerate the numbing but he didn't have access to that now. He at least knew how to shut his brain down from having an emotional breakdown. The only tall tell sign that he felt anything was the pain in his heart and the tears streaming down his face.

Eren felt himself leaning his face into Levis hand. He kind of wanted more of the warmth coming from Levi. He was tired and coupled with the feeling of numbness taking over; he momentarily forgot Levi was a kidnapping crazy man. He felt sleep taking over.

He looked into Levis eyes with tears still streaming down his face and said "Not even a monster deserves to have a fuck up like me in his life. You would have done better with someone else. I am nothing more than a fuck up doomed to a life of pain. I'm no saint I am a sad and useless case." With that Eren let sleep take over.

After this incident Eren stayed in his trance. He no longer fought Levi and he just sat there. Time almost didn't exist. He just let the days drift by.

Into the fifth month Eren was just silence his tears didn't even make a noise. Levi never forced conversation and he didn't want to talk. He actually was beginning to like Levis' company despite his better judgment. Levi was soft in a way that reminded him of his precious mother. He never yelled or threatened him and he definitely wasn't abusive like his dad. Eren was cleaner and more fed now than when he was at home. He forgot to take care of himself as the years went by. Levi tended to any unspoken whim Eren had. He truly didn't understand the man. He would look at Eren like he wanted to eat Eren whole. Other times he would give Eren this look like he understood Erens pain.

Since his first kiss he made many more attempts to kiss Eren. Despite his old need to resist Eren let himself be kissed. He figured if he gave this man a kiss he would continue treating him nicely and wouldn't hurt him. He didn't want to admit to himself that the true reason he let Levi kiss him was because he enjoyed it. He was crying one morning when Levi took his face in his hands and kissed him. He crashed his lips on Erens and pushed his tongue in. But after pushing his tongue he slowed the kiss down and his mouth almost felt tantalizing on Erens. At first Eren still felt weird but Levis kiss did something to him. It always did. Eren felt a fire spark up. It wasn't a big fire and it was barely bigger than a lit match. However Eren felt something spark and warm his body. When he pulled away Eren wasn't crying anymore. It made him forget why he was crying. But when he walked away Eren felt the coldness take over his body.

Eren once again asked Levi "why do you want me? Why go through all of this to keep me here? You have me tied up here and I can't go anywhere. I am really useless waste of affection." Levi just stroked his face and replied "I want to be with you beloved. Isn't it obvious?" Eren just huffed in anger. Those words and promises sickened him more than the man in front of him. In moments of sheer boredom Eren was still wondering what the fuck was with his kidnapper. The man didn't touch him outside of cleaning or feeding him but the way he looked at Eren was always like he wanted to devour him. He would kiss him but he would always retreat right after. Speaking of kissing after Levi answered he kissed Eren again. Eren didn't know what was going on with him but when Levi kissed him Eren felt that spark again. He never battled for dominance and always let Levi take control of the kiss. After this time however Levi untied Erens legs. He messaged his ankles where the ropes had been kissed them and walked away. Eren could move his legs again and even sit up. It wasn't much but Eren felt grateful but still very confused at his kidnapper.

It was the 6th month when things took a different turn.

One day Levi finished feeding him and moved to kiss him. Eren had been in his numbed state for almost two months. However he felt something in him come alive when Levi kissed him. He couldn't understand why but Levis kiss pulled him out of his state and into the world. He didn't want to enjoy it but he did. He opened his mouth to let Levi roam freely in his mouth. He didn't cringe when Levi wrapped his hands on his neck to further deepen the kiss. Since he could sit up now Eren could wrap most of his body around Levi to get more out the kiss. Maybe he was a little grateful for the way Levi took care of him. He went starving a lot of days after his dad left and was so skinny it was unhealthy. He was almost a healthy weight with the way Levi fed him. Levi kind of took care of him even if it was in a sadistic and weird way. Eren thought during the kiss maybe that's why he doesn't mind him being kissed by Levi. His mom kissed him on the cheek but after she died he was never kissed by anything but pain. Eren felt something else but he was not willing to admit it.

He felt safe.

When Levi got up for air Eren felt his chest hurting. He was hurting from thinking about his mom and feeling Levis warmth leave. That happened sometimes and it confused Eren. However this was only momentarily because Eren felt everything numbing itself again. When it was over Eren felt exhausted and went to sleep. He didn't want to think about this too much.

That night when Eren was asleep and he dreamed of walking on a beach a free. In the dream he was running and he was happy. It felt so real almost like a premonition. When he woke up and realized he wanted to be free. Even if he wanted to spend his life in solitude he wanted it on his own terms. He hadn't bothered Levi so he thought he'd try and plead it'd been a long enough time maybe mercy would come.

Eren has had better ideas.

Eren didn't initiate much conversation. He only talked when he wanted to know why Levi wanted him. When he called out Levis name, the look Levi gave him almost made him forget his question. His eyes lit up and he looked hopeful. Eren didn't want to focus on what the face was doing to him so he pushed his question through.

"It's been months I've been good I won't tell a soul. I want to be free and walk will you not have mercy on me?" Levi stared for a long time and then started crying. The light in his eyes left and a faraway look had replaced them. Eren was expecting different outcomes but not this. When he finally managed to speak he went into a teary rant.

"What the fuck Eren? How could you even ask me that? I feed you, I bathe you, and I treat you better than everyone in your life did and this is how you repay me? Eren answer me! Do I mean nothing to you?" that statement hurt Eren in his heart but he couldn't understand why. He suddenly felt like shit even though he knew he was right for wanting to not be tied up!

Levi came closer in a menacing face. Levi never looked at him like that before and he saw tears in Levis eyes as he continued: "Eren why would you ask me to send you back into that impure world without me? You know I can't do that you have to be here with me! I have everything you could ever want here. We don't need anyone else! I love you and I'll show you!" And with that a he dove on top of Eren and yanked him in a rough kiss and forced his tongue into Eren and he bit into Erens lip so hard blood came out and Eren let out a hiss from pain. Levi was smiling as he licked Erens lips and crashed his lips back on tops of Erens. Meanwhile Eren knew he fucked up, the look on Levis face said it all

Eren knew that this was the moment he had been dreading. The moment his virginity was taken. He couldn't believe the man held out six months. He didn't know why the stupid man wanted him. Nobody at home wanted him he was an ugly boney fuck up. Eren realized he was more concerned at his pitiful life than the man ripping off all of Erens clothes at the moment. Levi went to straddle Eren. At this moment Eren didn't even feel like fighting and decided to let the numbness take over and he would just get this over with. He shut his eyes and waited for the pain but instead nothing happened. He opened his eyes and saw Levi staring at him. The lost look he had was now gone and he was now staring at Eren with an expression close to grief.

"Well aren't you just going to do this?"

"No not with that look on your face. I want to see that pretty face contorted in pleasure as I ravish it. You're supposed to enjoy this not be scarred and I won't hurt you. I just want you to realize I am all you need"

Eren felt his body heat up at Levi's words "well I'm already naked not like I have a choice."

"Eren you're blushing. It's so cute"

"No I am not!" Eren was blushing harder

"Eren I could make you feel so good. I could make you make you forget about all your pain. I can make you happy."

"You idiot I don't get be happy! Haven't you figured that out, I don't even see why you bothe"

Levi interrupted and said "Eren shut up for a second and let me take care of you."

"Care ha!? This is bullshit! I just don…"

Eren was cut off by an abrupt kiss from Levi. This shut him up and he let himself succumb to the kisses. Levi licked his lips where he had bitten and planted soft pecks on it. Eren thought he was going to tongue kiss again but apparently Levi had other plans.

Eren felt soft kisses starting on his jaw line and moving down to his neck then shoulders down to his chest. Levi kissed Erens stomach and moved down. A soft trail of kisses went down to his thighs and his calves. Levi picked up Erens left leg and kissed his ankles where the rope had been. He moved to do the same to the other side. Eren squirmed a bit and Levi moved back up to his neck.

Levi licked his neck before sucking on it. Levi moved to kiss Eren deeply and slowly. Levi poked his wet muscle at Erens lips. Eren moved his trembling lips apart and let Levi in. It felt like Levi was trying to taste every part of his mouth. Eren couldn't deny he liked the way Levi tasted. It felt smooth, sweet, and even secure. He let himself forget about where he was and who he was with. He knew he was losing himself to the moment but he didn't care.

Soft hands ran slowly over his torso and the touch felt caring and almost feather like. Levi again a trail of kisses that moved down Erens body. He stopped and sucked on Erens thighs. Eren wanted this and that made him cringe. He had been failing from stopping hard on he was getting. Levi was giving him something he was not at all accustomed to.

He was giving him complete attention. Something that had been completely neglected for years and Eren reveled in it like a child getting a gold star for the right answer. Levi was softer than Eren thought and no one had ever gave him such attention not even his precious mom. Thoughts getting hazed as he fought the hard on till Levi licked Erens balls and a jolt shot through his body. Then Levi took his soft hands and placed it on his growing erection. He gave a soft squeeze and Eren felt the blood rushing from his face and downward. He then grabbed the base of his cock and stroked it moving to the bottom and back up. Reaching the tip he lightly squeezed then used a slow, upward motion wrapped his fingers around the tip and slid it back down. He repeated this motion and Eren felt his hips bucking at the friction. He was gasping for air and thought he couldn't sink any deeper Levi suddenly licked Erens balls.

"ahhh!" Eren had moaned at the delicious sensations he was feeling. Levi took this time and utilized well by taking Eren into his mouth.

Levis mouth was hot and wasted no time sucking off Eren as if his life depended on it he'd deep throat Eren and take hard suck as if Eren was the oxygen he was breathing. The hot mouth and soft hands playing with Erens balls was too much for Eren. Since Levis mouth was busy on his cock his hands were everywhere and the boy began breathing heavier as the sucking got harder and harder and somehow a hand found his chest and began toying with his nipples rubbing and pinching them until they were hard and Eren was becoming a mess. After particularly hard suck he came and Levi took it all.

Eren was lost in thought and Levi kissed him passionately. Eren was kissing back just as hard. It wasn't until Levi stopped the kiss and heard sucking that he became aware of what was going on.

He saw Levi was about to stick his fingers in the boy. His high from his first orgasm, he felt tears pricking his eyes and felt himself saying "this is going to hurt I can't do this."

Levi smiled and whispered "I'm making this special for us I promise" and trusted a finger in. Eren was crying at the intrusion and began flailing around until Levi held him down. He heard Levi growl "Eren relax already and it won't hurt."

"I can't relax it hurts so bad." Levi pulled his hands out and went to retrieve something from the back. He got back on top of Eren and moved to stick his fingers back in. Eren was crying harder and shaking. This made Levi stop and ask "Eren what is wrong?" Eren could barely form words as he babbled "I really don't want this it hurts and you're hurting me and I can't take this pain. I don't know why you're doing this!" Eren felt Levi wiping the tears from his eyes and he felt weird again. Eren had to admit he enjoyed Levi touching him and didn't mind it but it hurt too much. He felt lips on his and surrendered himself to a deep kiss from Levi.

Levi said "fine! I don't want to hurt my saint I want it to feel special. It's our first time making love. I want you to feel so good Eren."

Eren thought "who the fuck is making love? No one is in love especially not with me. Eren asked "then why does it hurt so much?" Levi replied "it gets better after you get used to it and relax."

"Does it really?"

"Yes"

"o ok... umm you sure?"

"YES!"

"Can we try it again?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Well I think so"

"Eren once I start I will not hold back anymore. You better be sure that is a full yes!"

"Ok Yes I am sure!"

Eren doesn't know why he was allowing this to happen. It wasn't like Levi was unattractive even for a crazy person. He was sure he still hated him but Eren liked the sparks he felt when Levi kissed or touched him. He liked not feeling numb and feeling something other than pain. It's not like he had begun to harbor some feelings towards his kidnapper. Never that! It's not like he had anything else to do so why not. Eren felt something cold and slick at his entrance and shivered. He also felt less pain. "Is this better?" asked Levi. Eren could only nod. The hands were making him feel funny and he couldn't speak.

Levi then finger fucked Eren adding fingers and stretching him. He was knuckles deep and curled his hands when Eren felt a flash a pleasure run through his body.  
"Holy fuck what was that?"

"That is what happen when you I don't want you done too soon."

Levi then pulled his hands out and Eren even sighed at the loss of contact. He held in his breath when he saw Levi pick up the bottle of lube and poured it all over his cock and rubbed some at Erens entrance. Levi kissed him and trusted in and Eren yelled. He felt like he'd been torn in two. Levi just stroked his face and kissed him tenderly.  
Soon Erens voice was faltering and he was soon whimpering. He hadn't noticed Levis utter lack of movement and didn't notice his body adjusting to the massive length inside of him. Time stood still and Eren was getting that confusing feeling again and he opened his eyes slightly as tears were still falling. He locked eyes on Levi and the bastard was just staring. When Eren looked at him Levi moved a bit and where he'd been in pain Eren actually felt good. Levi for some reason had waited for him to adjust before moving. When Eren didn't yelp in pain Levi asked him "Eren does it hurt or feel good?" Eren moaned in response. To this Levi began moving into a steady rhythm that felt odd and good and he was trying to fight how good it felt because this monster this kidnapper this murderer was not about to give him ultimate pleasure. He knew it was too late since he already came but he just wanted to be stubborn. As he was in his internal struggle his last coherent thought ceased when Levi sped up and Erens thoughts were now foggy as he was getting dizzy with pleasure and then he moaned Levis name.

Levi had stopped moving and looked at him in total shock.

Eren had become a mess of lust and was no longer in rational thought and he moaned out "Levi why'd you stop keep going" Levi said nothing and pulled out only to ram himself back in and Eren saw stars dancing on the ceiling. Levi continued this frantic motion of pulling out and ramming in as hard as he could and then he hit that spot that made Eren think for sure he was high on weed and acid. As he shouted, Levi took this to as an opportunity to keep hitting that spot and Eren had gone from screaming in pain to yelling in pleasure. He was being reduced to a mewling idiot. He could feel his saliva falling down the side of his cheek. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moved his hips to try and match Levis rough pace.

He heard Levi say gruffly "say my name again." He couldn't feel his body and couldn't think properly. He could barely pronounce Levis name to moan out but he managed a strangled "Levi!" Levi picked up his pace and trusted harder and said "Again!" Eren complied and moaned out his name again. Then Levi picked up Erens almost limp body and hoisted him on his lap and pushing them to the headboard thrusting hard upward. Erens face was now on Levis neck and his tied hands were wrapped around Levis back. After a maintaining a steady rhythm of abusing Erens prostate from the straddling position he picked Eren up by his hips and almost off of his cock and then slammed him back down. Eren yelped at the rough pleasure. Levi began repeating this motion.

Eren couldn't take this and felt something in him about to explode. He was a blushing mess of tears and heavy breathing. His toes were curling in this pleasure and his hair was a complete mess. He felt like 1000 degrees because this feeling, this pleasure was lighting his body on fire. When he felt his impending explosion, Levi suddenly whispered into Erens ear and without stopping his hard thrusting he said "cum for me Eren. I want you to cum for me as hard as you can. And when you do you I want you moaning my name!"

And despite everything hearing Levi say this was his undoing. Levis voice was deep and tantalizing. Coupled with his merciless thrust, Eren forgot where he was and who he was with. Nothing mattered but the way he felt and the hot and delicious breath whispering dirty things into his ear. He felt the spark that had been growing in since Levi first kissed him turning into a full blown fire. Soon he threw his head back climaxed hard onto Levi as he yelled Levis name. He yelled so loud if someone was outside the cabin they would have heard him. His cum was all over his chest and Levis chest.

He felt something warm filling him up as Levi climaxed into him. Both guys were panting hard trying to gulp in whatever air they could take in. The orgasm had been too strong for Erens un experienced body and Eren was trembling when Levi laid him back down. Never in his life had he ever experienced something so intense so well. He was still high off of the orgasm as he fell asleep. He didn't want to think anymore about what just happened or his hum of content at the soft hands cleaning him. He just fell asleep.


	4. Levis Pov-Shall I bake you a cake

Four months.

It's been four months since Eren and me started our little cozy life together, I remember when he first woke up after I brought him home. The look of sheer terror in his eyes as he struggle against his bindings with great force and fruitless effort, sigh, he was so adorable. I hadn't expected him to be so excited to start breaking into our little love-nest yet, I was almost tempted to start blushing at the wee devil, so feisty. That, or he was frantic to leave and go back to his old life, which that he was familiar with... nah, that look in his eyes was definitely lust.

I will never let him go.

They will have to pry him from my cold, dead fingers before I release him back into that detestable world that doesn't deserve him. The nerve that they must some how posses to even imagine taking him from me is admirable and disgusting. He is my perfect saint and I will not allow them to taint him any farther. It pains me to have had him wait eight years until I saved him, but he had to wait, I had to make sure everything was perfect, right to the last detail. And now that he's finally here with me-

I'll never let him go.

Never.  
Never.  
Never.

They can never take him from me.

Never.  
Never.  
Never.

. .All.

There is a stir and a pulse that drags me from my sudden thoughts, I look down to see Eren, his perfectly handsome face sleeping in my lap, seriously, doesn't this boy know how sexy he is? His smooth tan skin, lovely cheekbones and a dashing chin, and don't get me started on those eyes. However, I also notice that my hand is on his neck and my nails are barely breaking his skin.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Eren. I guess I was lost in thought." I whisper to him, and he mumbles something after I removed my hand, causing me to chuckle. Just how cute can he be.

As we comfortably lay here, I'm rather enjoying myself while strocking his hair, he's so peaceful. Yet, I wonder how he's going to be though, he has been pretty tense lately. What am I thinking? Who wouldn't be? I haven't been showering him with enougth affection! Duh! Kissing is great and all but a guy does need some things.

I wonder how will the feel of his warm skin be under my finger tips as he trembles from me being inside of him, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and the curve of his muscles as they twitch from release. I'll be gentle, or maybe he likes it rough. I'll kiss and suck his neck so hard that my mark will never leave him, I'll pound into him vigourously as he calls my name, he'll claw my back, and I'll relish in the sting of his beautiful nails and I'll bite his shoulder, tasting his lovely, sweet, red crmison as it streams from his flesh. Sigh, we'll hit euphoria together. But not yet, not now. Our first time has to be special.

But how can I appease him until then? Think damn it, think- oh I know, I can try that

"I'll bake you a lovely plain cake recipe that I learned a while back, it'll be delicous, you'll love it." I whisper to him again as I place a soft kiss on his face and he let's out a sigh. Oh he is just so precious.

I lift him up and move him on the bed so that his head rests on the pillow, after I tuck him under the comforter, I leave the room and walk towards the kitchen. I find my apron where I always leave it and put it on, the pantry is right next to the oven so it makes things easier. I go inside and grab all of the ingredients that i need and walk back into the kitchen and place them on the counter, I bend over to reach for the bowl until i hear a crash behind me. I quickly sit up and turn around to see a cute little brown squirrel on the mantle piece.

"Aw, look at the little guy, and his bushy little tail, and wee twitchy nose. So cute."

I throw a knife across the room and it effectively slices off the squirrel's head and blood splatters everywhere as the little body falls to the floor "Bulls eye" I walk over to it and pick it up from it's tail and take the knife out of the wall.

"Take a shot, win a prize!" I shouted while giggling, looking over my shoulder to see if I had woken up my darling Eren which I doubt because my baby sleeps like death, which causes me to giggle more

"I wonder what prize I got from this lovely little delete." I giggle again, blood dripping from it's severed neck, staining the rug.

"Hey come on... I asked you a question!" I yell at the lifeless body and shake it up and down vigorously, blood now finding it's way in other places including on my left cheek.

"Not talking huh?" I deadpan before taking my knife and sticking it into the neck of the squirrel to dab fresh blood onto the tip. I mark it's belly with an X from it's own blood, I push to tip of my knife into the point if the X and slide down to it's neck, not too deep. I start to hum "London bridges" as I begin to skin the squirrel, I always love humming and singing little tunes like that when I'm working, makes me feel all warm inside.

"What a lovely pair of gloves you'll make, maybe I should play hide and seek with the rest of your friends. Eren could always use a scarf. What do you think? That'll be nice huh? You guys would all be a matching set. Wouldn't that be nice? I wonder if squirrel bones would make a lovely necklace, Eren would look quite fetching in one. Wouldn't you agree?" a dark and crooked grin appeared on my face, this is so exciting, its been a while since I carved something up, its smooth bloodied flesh falling to the floor in little clumps is so enticing. "Hmm? What was that? Oh I see, yes you are quite right. Something is terribly wrong with me. Squirrel bones are best as bracelets, thank you friend for enlightening me."

I get back to my humming as I peel off the skin with my kitchen knife, then a small crunching sound comes from beneath me. I look down to see what had fallen off the mantle piece covered in skin and blood, I pick it up, tossing the little skinless carcass into the fire place. I take a pack of matches that laied on the mantle piece and started a fire. I go to sit down on the couch as I look at the picture. It's the picture of my family and me as a kid.

"Hey look its me, with Ma and Pa. Oh look at us where all smiley faces. What a cute little lie we're living, it's so funny."

As I look at myself I become imeditaly disgusted, I hate this part of my past, the part with my family, but as I look into my eyes I can see Eren's eyes and my heart aches a little more. I go to reach for my little face in the picture, transfixed with the fact that me and Eren both hold the same look in our eyes, as I go to brush my finger over the glass, I forgot that it was broken and cut my finger as I rubbed against it. As if it was telling me that this wasn't something to be happy about, and it's true, I was never happy. I take the picture from out of it's frame and toss it behind the couch, it crashes on the hard wood floor as more glass break and I continue to stroke this annoying reminder of my childhood, I can never remember a time that I was happy as a child. Never breaking eye-contact with myself I drift off into a very much unwanted nostalgia.

Ever since I could remember I had terrible nightmares, nightmares that plagued my sleep every time I closed my eyes. I would be tucked into my bed that was awfully to big for a child that was in a rather fetching bedroom that too was way too big for a child, and it was always dark, I was told night-lights were for the weak children and that if I were to ever come into the room crying over it then I would be beaten. My father was a big man, strong through and through, and even if I was a naïve little brat, I knew better not to be crossed with him. Funny how he admires strength but marries a weak and constantly ill petite woman like my mother, who was never strong enough to speak up against his brute nature and I guess he appreciated that in her.

As the nights of loneness grew, in the constant fear and darkness of the huge man eating monsters that plagued my dreams I became very skittish, very distant, as I would start to see my nightmares during the day as I was awake. My father paid it no mind, said it was my imagination getting the best of me, well that was until one supper where we were all actually together for a change. A giant, black, eerie hand slowly crept for me from behind my father's back, I panicked, screamed. All I could see was that hand, all I could hear was my screams. I hadn't noticed that my parents had taken me to the hospital until I had woken up in a hospital bed to the sound of my parents arguing outside my door, and of course my father won as I saw the silhouette of my mother's head turn away from his. She could never win in a fight with him, he was just so loud and imposing.

And to this day I still can't figure out how the hell was my mother still able to walk, they obviously had sex to produce me, and I honestly believe that he could've broken her with just his pinky. Whenever I think of that man, the word "gentle" never seems to cross my mind, but my mother would always be quick to defend him. "And they call me crazy."

We later found out that I had schizophrenia when the doctors strongly advised that I see a child psychiatrist after his strong protests against it. When the news about my condition got to him, he threw such a huge bitch fit, "No child of mine is a Schizo! I will soon enough have no child then one who will tarnish my family's good name!" and as much as my mother loved me, she loved my father more even if she would never admit it. So to not be separated from him, she agreed that I wasn't a 'schizo' and would receive no treatment for my make believe schizophrenia, which he called my 'over active imagination'. So life went on like that, if I were to have a episode I would be beaten by my father, there were times where I would have an episode and black out during it to only wake up with lashes and bruises all over my body, but never my face, I needed to be presentable to the neighbors. It got so bad to the point where I would have my episodes in silence or alone when he wasn't home, if they weren't that bad I would ignore them and let them pass as I became more distant from my family. He seemed pleased and didn't hit me, so I didn't care, there's only so much an eight year old should care about right?

As the years went by, I learned to deal with my schizophrenia pretty well but as I grew my father started to become irritated with me again, however I wasn't the only target for his random tantrums, he would also yell at my mother.

"How dare you bear me such a weak child?!" my father shouted at her.

'Weak child'? I didn't understand. How could I be weak? It has been years since he witnessed any of my episodes and I'm dealing with them on my own without any medication, so why is he upset about me now? So I went into the bathroom to inspect myself to see if there is any weakness present. I stood in front of the mirror to look at myself and I could see it. The long black hair, slim fingers, pale skin, skinny body, no muscles and short, for a boy I was pretty dainty, almost exactly like my mother. I hadn't grown up to be the strong boy that my father wanted, only this small pathetic thing that he had the misfortune to call a son, and he resented her for that. I agreed with him about my body's weak condition, especially my height but I love my long hair, and being true to himself as my father, the very next day he took me to a barber shop get a hair cut, in fact all of my hair was shaved off. That was the moment I too began to hate weakness, I began to hate my mother and her weakness for allowing this man to take away my hair, but I was only twelve, what could I have done against this brute? So I began to hate myself too, for I too was weak.

"I will make you strong. You will become a man." he said to me while patting me on the shoulder, pleased with my new look.

So he signed me up for Muay Thai lessons, saying that I won't be doing nothing like that kiddie karate, that I will become stronger, faster this way. So I took the classes no matter how much I hated them and getting punched in the face repeatedly, at first, but as time went on and I got better, because for some reason I had a talent for it which pleased my father even more, something in me grew, something very strong, hot and violent. I started looking forward to my classes more and more, and yes it made my father happy but it was also a way for me to release, who knew making someone bloody from your fists could be so invigorating?! I never felt so at peace with myself when I fought, when I hurt, when I bleed, and when I unleashed all of that ten fold onto my opponent. Student or teacher I never held back, but I was irritated with this rule of never using our knees or elbows because they could kill, and that's all I ever found myself wanting to do whenever I step up to a challenge. To knock out my opponent was never enough anymore I wanted to feel their heart stop their breath fade slowly as I ground their entire being into the floor.

Unfortunately since killing your opponent was a big no-no in society I couldn't or risk the beatings from my father again. It's funny, seeing as how strong I got, he's stronger still. So in fear of him I kept my homicidal drive to myself and tried my damndest to succeed in whatever I did in order to avoid his wrath. Within two years I became the perfect son. Strong, popular, smart, successful. But the stress to keep up this "perfect son" charade was epic, my Muay Thai couldn't keep me leveled anymore unless I was allowed to kill something, which of course I still haven't done, in fear of that man, which made my stress worse until a friend of mine introduced me to the lovely little D word that we all know. Drugs. And they were marvelous, not only was my stress gone, but suppressing my homicidal urges and schizophrenia was so much easier. You name it I took it, the only drug that was probably never in my system had to be pepto bismol because that shits nasty, and it wasn't long until another "D" found it's way into my life, and I had a "fucking" ball!

That was until the day my mom found me doing a line of coke in my room, which surprised me because I was able to keep this little secret from them for two years and she just easily found it out because no one likes to fucking knock anymore, and before any words were exchanged I left the house. It was that easy, a simple decision really. You see my father is the type of man who believes in the perfect family, all he ever wanted was a lovely housewife and successful son, nothing much, and he had the power, money and name to get that without much effort, but instead took his time falling in love and actually producing a child. Anyone could see why he would be upset about my situation, and personally knowing him, it is not wise or in my case healthy to defy him, so I left. It's not like they really ever cared about me, if they had, since I was still a minor, there would have been search parties, hell they have enough money to call all of Scotland Yard over. But nothing. Not even a picture on the news channel.

I was broken from out of my memories from a spark by the fire. I look up to it to watch it flicker, the little body still present as it continues to turn to ash. Then I lay down on the couch, resting my head on the arm as I hold the picture up in the air.

"Heh, so I guess all those 'I love you's' were fake huh mom?" I chuckle faintly before crumbling the picture in my hand and toss it into the fire, and I watch it burn into nothingness.

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust." as I lay there and watch the lovely show my mind wanders back to Eren and how our eyes were the same and I bury my face into my arm.

"I must get that feeling from him, its no good. I must show him more love. I can not fail him." another spark brings me from my thoughts and I look back at the fire and giggle

"I hope everyone is all roasty-toasty. I guess I should get back to the cake, huh Mr. Squirrel, but first I think a small game of hide and seek is in order." I get up and pick up the knife from off the floor and head for the door.

I open it and shout into the darkness "Ready or not, here I come!"


	5. Levis Pov-Nightmares

In a dark room only lit up by the light of the moon peering through a white, glass window with light blue curtains that are freckled with little footballs. Light washing over light blue and golden striped wallpaper that is bare of anything but one huge white bookcase, filled to the brim with children books. There is a giant white plush rug on top the hardwood floor that seperates a big white door from an even bigger white and lightblue bed. All over the floor are toys that have been haphazardly tossed throughout the room, some that were made to be thrown and others that lied broken, one in perticular that keeps repeating the tune "Mary has a little lamb" that is accompanied with sniffles that can be heard from the bed.

A small boy sits on that bed with his back to the windowsill because there is no wall next to the bed. He has his face buried in his knees leaving only his buzzcut visable as his back trembles from whimpering only to suddenly jump from hiccups.

"It's all her fault" he keeps muttering to himself as he fist his white pajama pants tighter after each chant.

Little black hands started to creep from underneath his bed making scratching sounds. Sa faute à elle they whisper.

"Sa faute à elle." he repeats faintly. As the hands come out farther.

There is a knock at his door which is followed by a sweet voice "Young master, are you awake?" It doesn't wait for a reply before it cracks the door open "Levi?"

He haults his crying and muttering. "Petra?" He says dryly.

The door opens fully to reveal a very petite women in a frilly maid outfit, complete with headdress that fits her head cutely and brings out the color in her strawberries-blond hair and hazelnut eyes. She places both hands on he waist and makes a playful scolding face at Levi. "Young master, if you were in here why didn't say so after the first knock?"

The hands are now a little bigger, they're raising up from the shadows underneath the bed and are on the bed frame, clawing up. The scratching sound now higher. Elle lui a dit they whisper.

"Elle lui a dit" he mumbles into his legs as the hands slowly continue their advance to him.

Her face relaxes as she smiles softly at him "I thought that since your parents went away on a trip that we could go downstairs and play games like we used to."

"Like we used to? Games?" he opens his eyes a bit.

Elle vous blesser. Vous blessez. They say as they appear over the edge of the bed.

"Je me suis blesse." he mumbles closing his eyes again. They inch closer, finally reaching his toes.

Nous souffrons! They yell while wrapping themselves up his leg.

His hand twitches as he sits up "Nous souffrons" he says.

"Hm? What was that?" she takes a step inside the room but stops when she steps on something. The light from behind her that light up the hallway and barely enters the room can show enough little shadows on the floor for her to know that there's a mess. "Young master, this is so unlike you. Why is your room so messy?" she bends down and picks up the toy "Come. I'll help you clean up and then we can go downstairs and play ok?"

Nous souffrons. Nous souffrons. Elle a nous blesser. Nous détestons son. blesser. la haine. They yell out as begin to coil up his body, covering him in darkness.

"La haine. La haine." he grits his teeth as he balls his hands into fists, so tight that he start to tremble and bleed.

More hands start to appear from the darkness that is scattered out through out the room and start to rise up, gripping and clawing at the walls, climbing up, covering everything. There is a very repetitive clicking sound and high pitched buzzing that swarms the room. A couple of hands reach out into the light, aiming for Petra's feet. She still can't hear what he's saying or see his face but she notices his hands shaking in the moon light. "Look, Levi. I'm sorry for telling your Father about your episodes, I really thought you was in trouble and didn't know what to do, so I had no choice. I didn't know it was a secret. I'm sorry, Levi. Can you forgive me?"

Pardon? Pardon?! Now the clicking has increased it's pace and the buzzing is now even higher as the walls shake, shouting in many different voices raging from a deep, heavy set man to a small girl. Pardon?! Elle a nous trahit! Pardon?! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable! Impardonnable!

"Impardonnable." he speaks clearly this time, for her to hear, but she is confused, unable to understand what he said. Then the hands had finally covered his entire body in darkness, not a speck of light was touching and when the silent hands finally reached Petra ankles, everything went silent. The only constant noise was the toy that never stopped playing "Mary had a little lamb". Then a small hand comes from Levi's side and starts to wiggle itself up towards his ear, when it reaches it, it balls itself into a fist and a large red eye appears atop a jagged smile.

Effacer. It whispers into his ear.

Levi snaps, he screams, he cries out emotions that he have repressed, rage that he has bit back has resurfaced, his entire being trembling from it's own outburst and the darkness joins in with it's own screeches giving him more fuel for his roar. He jumps off the bed in a dash, grabbing a bat that laid on the floor and swung a Petra's head before she could retaliate. The darkness on the wall broke apart into little hands that crawled around the room quickly like large spider, chanting, cheering and giggling at each gruesome bash Levi's bat lands on Petra's body.

They sing.

Mary avait un petit agneau.

Her body hits the floor with a heavy thud, her stomach still moves, proof that she still breathes.

Petit agneau. Petit agneau.

He walks closer to her head and looks down at her with cold eyes that feel nothing as tears flow from them. He lifts up his bat with both hands, her eye looking up at him, reflecting every ounce of horror. He slams.

Mary avait un petit agneau.

He slams and slams. Wood hitting bone, crunching echoes throughout the room.

Dont la toison était blanche comme la neige.

More and more slams. One in which causes blood to splat all over the wall and all over his pure white pajamas.

Partout où Marie allait.

He throws the bat down, panting heavily as the many hands ran from off the walls and formed a whirlpool underneath his feet that began to latch onto his body. He watch them and excepted them "Que l'agneau était sûr d'aller." He whispered before breaking out into a hysterical laugh as darkness absorbed everything around him including himself.

It is dark, and there is a faint scream.

Levi opens his eyes and wakes up in a cold sweat, he is sitting up in his bed in the cabin with a worried looking Eren laying next to him, the room is extremely dark so he can only tell that Eren is looking at him because his eyes are bright.

"Levi what's wrong? You were screaming." his voice dry and hoarse from their previous activities earlier.

He hadn't notice he was panting heavily until Eren spoke and he ran a hand through his hair as if trying to calm down. "I had a horrible dream."

"What was it?" not moving in any form to comfort him, choosing rather to stay in the warmth of the blanket then move and cause himself pain.

"Football curtains and striped wallpaper Eren, who does that? It so obviously clashes!" he looks up and shivers at the thought.

"Weirdo." he closes his eyes and easily goes back to sleep.

Levi huffs out loveingly, although he can't see him clearly, just having his presence next to him was comfort enough. He reaches out in the dark trying to pet Eren's head until a starching sound grabs his attention. He slowly moves his hand from Eren and goes to look over his side of the bed, although it was near pitch black in the room he could make out those hands anywhere. Fingers wiggling from out of the darkness in search of him, when they are spotted, the stop and start to head up as a familiar red-eye face makes it's appearance

Monstre. It whispers.

"Tais-toi." he deadpans. And they immediately retreat back under the bed "I know."


	6. Erens Pov-Pure Comfort

Eren woke up the next day and realized he had not cried yet. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and his eyes looked at the fresh shorts on his body. Eren thought to himself "How hard do I sleep?" He felt soothing warmth in his side. He turned his head and saw Levi curled up next to him. The man had an almost angelic and peaceful smile as opposed to the pained expression he wears when he's not staring so intently at Eren. He mouth was parted slightly and Eren could feel his breath each time he exhaled. His lips were a dark pink and slightly swollen. Eren blushed when he thought about all the things those lips did the night before. He also noted how Levis hair was messier than usual. His was all over his face. Eren was reaching out to push his hair back, like Levi does to him. Right as his hand hit the smooth skin he yanked it back.

"What the fuck am I doing?"

Eren was so confused at the conflicting emotions he had. He wanted to hate this man for killing his dad but his dad wasn't really father of the year. He wanted to hate him for kidnapping him and tying him up.

However,  
Levi wasn't that bad. He didn't force himself on Eren and when Eren said it hurts Levi actually stopped and waited for his consent. He wasn't doing anything Eren thought he would do. He was unlike anybody Eren had ever met. Well he was but Eren was not going there. Being alone for so long, he isn't used to being in the presence of someone constantly. Maybe it was that reason Eren realized he was starting to feel warmth towards this man and let out a loud groan. This woke Levi up and he asked Eren what was wrong.

"Nothing"

"You're lying to me."

"It doesn't matter! Can you leave me alone you don't know me!"

"Eren we have been through this NO I cannot. What is wrong with you? You were fine yesterday why are you bent out of shape today?"

Eren was trying to push Levi away so he wouldn't have to think of the warmth he felt. "I wasn't fine you monster, you just assumed it was. I wish you would stop pitying me and leave me to my pathetic existence."

"Eren what's wrong my beloved? You aren't pathetic! My saint you aren't pathetic and I care too much to let you go. Tell me what's wrong my love."

Something in Eren snapped. He doesn't know what caused it but Eren began yelling with an anger he kept inside himself for so long. In the 8 years since his moms death he never acted out in anger only depression and sadness. He had no outlet for his anger. And now with this man and his bullshit Eren took all his anger out on Levi.

He yelled "fuck you! I hate you! Why the fuck he had to come along and kidnap him?" Eren wanted an answer, as if he hadn't asked 400 times before and Levi gave him one. Levi began to talk saying "I love you Eren. I saw you were miserable so I wanted to take care of you so you could continue to be pure I …."

Eren interrupted yelling "Bullshit Bullshit more Bullshit!" Eren saw red and was losing control of his emotions. Sleeping with Levi had unlocked his emotions. No longer numb he was having a full on breakdown. For a moment he wasn't even concerned about Levi kidnapping him. He was upset at his reason for kidnapping him. He lost the only person who truly loved him. His mom, who had been the sun he gladly revolved around. The only person who cared about him and she was dead and gone. When she died he had to endure years of being alone. He had nobody except his abusive dad. His only friends he had ditched him like he was trash. Nobody could possibly love him. He was beyond done there was no fucking way someone wanted him this much the boy was on the edge of suicide because of his hopelessness and depression.

"Eren am I not giving you enough affection? Am I not caring enough? We are supposed to be happy here together."

Eren was beginning to think he was really losing it. Did this man speak English but not understand it? Eren was spiraling into another pity party. With all his accomplishments in his pathetic life, he had to admit being abducted takes the cake. Who gets abducted at 18? And why is this man always proclaiming his love for Eren. Why is he so intent on spoiling him? Why is he tied up in the middle of a room without windows? Eren felt the panic rising up in his body as his anxiety increased. He felt the room getting smaller and smaller. He had too many thoughts running in his mind at once. He had been numb for so long he felt as if every emotion was hitting him at once. He forgot someone else was sitting next to him. He felt as if he was being strangled and then it was like a dam broke.

With a voice Eren didn't recognize as his own he began wailing. It was like he was making up for every emotion he tried to ignore. Everything that troubled him in life was dancing around in his mind and tormenting him. His body felt heavy and he couldn't move his arms to wipe his face. He let out pained groans as tears fell from his eyes like a storm. His body was shaking and heating up. The biggest torment was the idea that he was alone. He had nobody and he was doomed to a lonely life. Nobody would ever love him. Eren felt himself coughing and trying to gulp in air as another wave of tears erupted in him. He thought he was going to drown in this pain, when suddenly something warm and secure wrapped around his body.

"Eren it's ok baby, I am here. You don't have to be sad I will take care of you. You can stop screaming you're alone because I am here."

Eren began thrashing around trying to get away from that voice. It was fighting his breakdown and confusing him. The more he fought, the harder the grip on his body was. Something was wiping every tear escaping from his face. He felt a hand stroking hair endlessly.

Eren felt his body calming down and his breathing becoming less erratic. His heart had stopped pumping the feeling of knives being plunged through his body and into his soul. He could feel the warmth from earlier even stronger. It was engulfing his body and bringing him down. A voice that had been distant was getting closer and closer. He recognized that voice. He never thought he would be happy to hear that voice. It was fighting with all the evil thoughts cascading through his mind.

"Levi, is that you?"

"I'm here Eren. Its ok my saint I'm here. This is why I won't let anyone else have you. I'll protect you."

Eren wasn't in his right mind any more. He just wanted the pain to stop.

"Levi it hurts."

His wailing had stopped; the room stopped spinning and expanded. Eren could still feel tears cascading down his face, but Levi never stopped stroking his face. Eren was now shaking a bit and accepted the warmth Levi was giving him with his tight grip. Levi placed a kiss on Erens forehead and managed to pull him in tighter. He held him until Eren completely calmed down. Eren felt the pain receding and looked at the man who comforted him without a second thought.

"Levi I don't get why you are doing this."

"Because you are mine. I want you to be happy."

"Well if you really want me happy can you untie me?" Eren paused and then quickly added "I promise I won't run."

Levi looked at him for a long time then mumbled something about those damn eyes being too perfect to resist and untied Eren. Eren was in shock. He didn't know it'd be this easy. He thought Levi would be more forceful. He thought he would blow up like yesterday.

He looked at Levi and the man just smiled at him. His smile made Erens chest tightened and stopped him in his tracks. But he ignored this and pushed all thoughts away and tried to focus on standing, or even moving. With his little strength he stood up to stretch only to fall back down. He was sore as hell from yesterday and from not walking for months. Levi caught him and laid him back down laughing. It was a soft a pleasant laugh and soothed Eren to his core. Levi was saying something about "you'll have to get reused to walking sorry." He ran his hands through Erens hair and kept laughing. Eren couldn't really hear what Levi was talking about.  
Levis laugh like his smile did something to Eren again but he ignored it.

After more trial and error Eren could walk properly and he explored the cabin. He was shocked to find that it was a very nice and cozy place. Besides his room there was the bathroom and a big living room/kitchen. There was a black bookshelf next to the front door. He took in the chandelier hanging above the cabin and the glass table beneath it. But what really caught his attention a little stone fire place and a big red couch. The cabin was really nice and looked better than his old home. However he felt warmth similar to the one his house used to have before he was 10.

"Is this really where we live?"

"Yes. It's all for you my dear. I went through a lot of trouble to get this together, but it's ok. We'll be nice and happy here."

Eren hadn't registered all of Levis' words after hearing this was for him, the nicest thing anyone had done for him in 8 years was give him a joint or a job. Levi had somehow appeared behind Eren and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Eren was too stunned to tell him to back the fuck up and that damned warmth Levi bought felt good against his body. It felt so foreign to him and he should feel wrong, but it felt so right.

"This is really all for me?" Eren whispered.

Levi didn't respond. He used his hand to move Erens chin closer to his face. He mashed their lips together ending anymore questions from Eren. The kiss made him weak and he had to pull away for air. He quickly moved to the couch and made himself comfortable. He pulled his knees in to his chest and rested his head on his knees. His hair fell lazily around his face making him look younger than 18. Levi moved to start a fire but kept turning around to check on Eren. Eren was still trying to take in this cabin and he kept hearing the word permanent run through his mind.

He was beginning to accept the fact that he was never leaving. Levi seemed hell bent on keeping him here. Despite this, it was getting harder and harder trying to come up with reasons to hate him. Against his initial judgment, He was starting to feel grateful to Levi. The man had taken better care of him than his own dad. Even though it was awkward having another man sponge bath and change him, he soon thought of the acts as kind. He also had this knack for baking all kinds of sweets, Eren was surprised he didn't have cavities. Levi really cared for him in a way that was similar to his mom.

Eren face palmed himself as he realized this wasn't the first time he compared Levi to his mom. This man can't be that much like the woman, who his world was revolved around. But then again he kind of was. It made Eren feel like a child again. He felt warmth and safety. The feeling had less to do with the crackling fire now burning and heating up the room, and more to do with the man now sitting not far from him on the couch. He felt as if all those years he spent alone were backtracking. He was starting to wonder what was so wrong in having so much attention. Stupid Armin and Mikasa didn't give him any. And daddy had been so mean. Eren started having more childish thoughts run through his mind. Something had to have snapped in his brain during that breakdown. He wanted more of this attention and the idea of being kidnapped had begun to leave his mind. Levi looked more like his caretaker then his kidnapper. And with Erens growing selfish mindset, he was ok with that.

Things changed after that afternoon that Eren explored the cabin. He got bored sitting or standing in silence and he began to talk to Levi about mundane things. He didn't mean to but he ran out of things to say and soon told Levi every single thing about his life. He told him things no one knew. He even shared the dreams he used to have as a child. He told him about every secret thought he had. How angry and disappointed he was in Armin and Mikasa. How they befriended the evil boy Jean that made his life hell. Eren had defended Armin from Jean but he became more important than Eren when he needed Armin the most. No one knew his dad abused him and no one had stopped the bullies at school. Eren kept talking about life for days. He even talked about his love for weed and even tried to get Levi to buy him some but Levi said "you don't need that anymore." This made Eren pout and Levi just petted his head and laughed. Erens heart constricted and Eren quickly changed the subject.

At some point Eren opened up about his mom. Eren had never told anyone about his mom because no one had ever cared to ask. His mom had been his world; she was so  
beautiful and perfect. She was a perfect mom, cook, friend, wife, and did he mention perfect. Nobody could compare to her. She was his sun. Talking about his mom made Eren burst into tears like a child running home with a scraped knee. Levi took him in his arms and soothed him like he was a parent putting a band aid on his boo boo and kissing it to make the pain go away. Eren didn't bother to resist.

He even blurted out his thoughts on suicide without meaning to. The look Levi gave him was a look of bewilderment, torment, and anger.

"Eren that is stupid. You don't have to think like that anymore, you have me."

Eren didn't know how to interpret that. He just stared at Levi for a long time and the man stared back. When Levi blinked his eyes, Eren bust out "I win!" that was childish even for Eren, but he didn't care he just wanted to change the subject.

He didn't know why but talking to Levi was soothing and free. He never had anyone to talk to and had been in his own thoughts for years.

After some time, Eren slept with Levi again. In the time he spent telling Levi his whole life he really began to forget Levi was his kidnapper. He was so wrapped in up all the attention; he just about forgot that he was tied to a bed not even a month was incredibly attentive in bed. He was all what Eren wanted, and how he wanted it. His second time had been just as intense as the first time and he found himself trembling and howling in toe curling pleasure beneath the man thrusting inside of him vigorously. He soon had fallen asleep, content in Levis arms.

That night however Eren was jolted awake by the sound of screaming. He was shocked to find Levi in a panicked state. He was breathing hard and his eyes were unnaturally huge. He was red and he held Eren in almost a death grip.

"Levi what's wrong? You were screaming."

"I had a horrible dream."

"What was it?"

"Football curtains and striped wallpaper Eren, who does that? It so obviously clashes!" he looks up and shivers at the thought.

"Weirdo." Why I even bother, thought Eren as he eased himself back to sleep.

The next day Levi seemed really out of it and kind of jumpy. Eren had never seen him like this and was a bit confused. For a second he thought Levi was talking to himself but when he asked about it Levi just shrugged him off. Eren went to take a shower and when he came out Levi was in front the fire place with his knees pulled into his chest. He kept chanting "shh" and something else in another language. When Eren tapped him on the shoulder, Levi yelped and yanked Eren to the ground. His face seemed paler and his eyes had a dangerous and faraway look in them.

"Uhh Levi? Um this is weird."

Upon hearing his voice Levi seemed to have snapped out his trance. His eyes focused on Erens and grew as wide as a dinner plate. He pulled Eren into him in this back breaking hug. Eren tried to relieve some of the tension but Levi just gripped him harder.

"It's you my saint. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. Don't mind me haha."

"Um Levi you are breaking my back here."

"Eren are you happy here? Am I everything you want? This cabin is perfect for us isn't it? Eren!"

If Levi held him any tighter he was sure he was going to break in half. Eren didn't know what to do so he tried running his hands through Levis hair in an attempt to calm him down. It seemed to have worked and Levi relaxed his grip on Eren, but didn't let go.

"Eren are you happy here? Am I caring? Am I kind? Isn't the cabin perfect for us?"

Eren didn't know why Levi was acting so strange but he could only hear pain in his voice. Eren felt bad and figured the nightmare must have really been bad. He thought about the questions Levi kept throwing at him. He kept asking him over and over and Eren didn't know how to reply. He opted to just say the first thing that came to his mind.

"I love our little cabin."

At his words Levi looked at Eren with a desperate expression. Eren wondered if he was waiting for more so he continued:

"You make really good cakes and that scarf you made me is really comfy. I guess I am happy here."

At his words he saw Levi crying and wondered if he said something wrong. O no, what if he upset him. Would he stop being so kind, would the treats stop coming? Would he leave him like Armin and Mikasa? Would Levi be like his dad and start hitting him since he didn't answer the way he wanted to? Erens dad cried a lot before the beatings started. Eren was now freaking out and it didn't help when he saw Levis hand reaching for his face. He closed his eyes and braced himself for a slap but Levi only gently cupped his face. He pulled Eren in to a long and desperate kiss. Eren felt his panic simmering down but he was still worried. Levi had been so kind to him, how long would it take for him to fuck it up like he did with his old life. After all it was his fault his mom died. She took such great care of him and that led her to death.

Eren hadn't realized he was crying during his kiss with Levi. Since Levi was still crying he didn't know which tears he felt on his face he just wanted more of Levi. Eren felt something brewing in him that he never felt before. In that moment he realized he was sucking face with a kidnapper and he shouldn't be this content. But he pushed that thought away; he'll deal with that later. He was currently too consumed by the fire spreading inside his body caused by the man whose tongue was halfway down his throat.

This can only end in pain for me, Eren thought.


End file.
